| Understanding John Roberts
He's an experienced attorney and judge, and he's President Bush's nominee for the Supreme Court. But how much do we really know about John Roberts? News on the March investigates. >>MORE
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| Sean Hannity Saves Universe in Alternate Future
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| News on the March Reporter Jailed
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Rich White Girl Missing
Could your attractive, Caucasian teenage daughter be next?
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Mandatory Cola Corporation Purchases News on the March
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OPINION: New Mandatory Cola Lem-Lime Soda is Delicous!
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STOCKS
The Dow rose 2,000 points after Federal Reserve chairman Alfred Midas entered the room! (Source: NYSE)
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TODAY'S QUOTE
"When all else fails, vote from the rooftops."
-H. L. Mencken, 1949
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AT THE MOVIES
Fantastic Four "is a fantastic bore" says our resident movie expert.
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COMMENTARY
Rich, arrogant asshole is looking out for you.
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