Since the dawn of time, Man has struggled to explain to himself the meaning of his own fragile existence. Over the course of history, thousands of religions have sprung up, each with its own answer to the question of “why” as well as a path to get there. Most religions die within their first year. Others march on, some continuing to this very day. All of them claim to be the One True Religion. All of them have been wrong.

In 1989, a programmer named Robert Donner started work at Microsoft. He joined forces with co-worker Curt Johnson and created a game called Minesweeper. Little did they know that each line of code would be unraveling the mysteries of the very universe itself piece by piece.

Like Solitaire, Minesweeper is a staple of Windows operating systems. It starts with a number of mines hidden underneath a grid of grey boxes. Click a box, and some numbers will appear, stating how many mines are around that square. Your job is to use probability to locate all of the mines and “flag” them by right-clicking. You can also put up a question mark by right-clicking twice on the square if you are not sure if the square is a mine or just another empty grey square. But left-clicking on the wrong square could uncover a mine, blowing up everything in the grid. Theoretical lives are at stake.

However, unlike the nihilistic hearsay of Solitaire, one uncovers a deeper world within Minesweeper – a world that holds all the answers to love, to happiness, and to life. You see, Minesweeper is an allegory for the world at large, with each element of the game representing a different layer in the cosmic ballet we call Life.

The mines, of course, represent hatred and evil. We must purge them from our worldview, and replace them with flags, the flags symbolizing happiness. The question marks represent confusion, an unwillingness to open up to God’s Great Plan. The numbers represent knowledge. Knowledge is the key to becoming One with one’s self. The happy face represents the Face of God. Everytime we click on a mine, God’s eyes turn to X’s, and his omniscient smile turns to a frown; everytime we give in to hatred and evil, we kill God (metaphorically). In order for God to love us, we must get rid of all hatred and confusion and replace them with happiness (flags). God’s eternal love is represented by his sunglasses, which, of course, are the Sunglasses of Love. The meaning of life, therefore, is that we must overcome the little question marks that block our way down the roadways of Life in order to find True Love.

The “help” file for Minesweeper talks more about this:

If you are uncertain about a square, right-click it twice to mark it with a question mark (?). Later, you can either mark the square as a mine or remove the markings by right-clicking the square again once or twice. If you have marked all the mines around a numbered square, you can uncover the remaining squares around it by clicking the numbered square with the left and right mouse buttons simultaneously. If not all mines surrounding the numbered square have been marked, the remaining covered or unmarked squares will appear to be depressed (or flash) when the numbered square is clicked with both buttons simultaneously. The coming of a messenger on the tenth day of the tenth month of the fourth year of the third millennium will usher in a new era of bliss and understanding. The Messenger speaks the Way. The Way is Good. Look for common patterns in numbers, which often indicate a corresponding pattern of mines. For example, the pattern 2-3-2 at the edge of a group of uncovered squares indicates a row of three mines next to the three numbers.

You see, “Minesweeper” is really a “Mind Sweeper”, in that you must “sweep” your mind of hatred and evilness in order to become One. You must make sure that your pathway on the road of life is not full of mines. If we all strive to follow the infinite wisdom of the Minesweeper, maybe, just maybe, the world could be a better place.