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Kerry Flip-Flops on "Girls Have Cooties" Issue

BOSTON, Mass. - Democratic Presidential candidate John Kerry, 60, will attend a rally for women's rights in Cleveland next week.

At the rally he will tell attendees that he is a champion for women’s rights and a crusader for sexual equality. However, newly obtained documents reveal that Kerry was opposed to the female sex as recently as 50 years ago, even claiming that they had cooties.

“Girls are yucky,” said Kerry in a 1950 interview with the Lowell Sun. “They have cooties.”

Reports indicate that in 1949 young Kerry once even pushed a female classmate, on the grounds that the girl was “a stinky-breath dumb head”.

“Is Kerry a massive flip-flopping hypocrite when he claims to ‘stand up for [women’s] security, ensure their safety, support their rights, and guarantee their dignity’?” conservative pundit Thomas Baker asked rhetorically in a recent editorial in the New York Post.

“In the view of this reporter, the answer is a resounding yes,” he answered.

Kerry could not be reached for comment.


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