Back to Home	April 2005

ENTERTAINMENT

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HOLLYWOOD -- Over 200 awards were randomly handed out to Hollywood’s biggest and brightest stars during a five-hour awards ceremony last week.

Host Cuba Gooding was on hand to dazzle and entertain the audience with his own brand of zany, inoffensive humor.

“We’ve got enough awards here to fill up the Grand Canyon!” he quipped. “In fact, just come up here and take one... I’m serious.”

Thousands of photographers, reporters, and other celebrity- watchers were present at the ceremony to publicize the event and provide commentary on the celebrities’ clothing.

“Did you see that red ensemble Salma [Hayek] was wearing?” asked commentator Joan Rivers. “Me-owwww!”

“I would like to thank my parents and all my fans,” said actress Hillary Swank during her acceptance speech after randomly receiving an award statue for no real purpose other than being a famous individual. “This really means a lot to me.”

The big winner of the evening was actor Tom Hanks, who received over six awards, all haphazardly awarded to him with no apparent reasoning behind the action.

The awards ceremony, a Hollywood institution for over 40 years, is committed to handing out accolades to famous celebrity icons with absolutely no attention paid to accomplishment, skill, or merit.

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