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Sunday
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Monday
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Tuesday
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Wednesday
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Thursday
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Friday
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Saturday
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1
1939 – Germany invades Adventureland
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2
Hey this day will have already passed by the time I
finish this magazine
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3
1923 – Mort Walker, President of the Confederacy,
born
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4
Don’t tell anyone I told you, but I heard that Ethan
said that Josh told him that Anne likes you
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5
Speak Only In Quotes From The Movie Pulp Fiction Day
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6
Remember, world peace comes at the price of eternal
vigilance.
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7
1936 – Buddy Holly, giant gelatinous blob, born
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8
2082 – MUSTARD FIGHT!!!!
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9
1999 – Sega Dreamcast
fails to make life worth living
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10
TIP FOR BUDDING POLITICAL PUNDITS: Be hip ‘n’ trendy
by referring to political scandals with the suffix of “-gate”
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11
1945 – Leo Kotte, horribly
disfigured subterranean mole-man, born
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12
TIP FOR BUDDING CARTOONISTS: Stuck for an idea?
Sniff your markers!
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13
1988 – Xochitl Flores,
Queen of Cool, born
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14
It’s people like you who are ruining America, you know.
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15
1966 – Second episode of Star Trek premieres; series deemed “not as good as it used to
be”
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16
1989 - President Dukakis addresses nation while
wearing frilly dress
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17
1982- Bloodiest day in Cola War as 5,000 soldiers
are killed in Battle of Ascorbic Acid
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18
2004 – Oh man, just wait’ll
you see what happens today!!!
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19
1928 – Adam West, vampire with a heart of gold, born
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20
Sometimes you just have to ask yourself what former
Secretary of Transportation Claude S. Brinegar
would do.
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21
1933 – President Eugene V. Debs ends Great
Depression by eradicating capitalism
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22
Look, you’re a nice person and everything, but I
think we should break up.
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23
TIP FOR BUDDING MORTICIANS:
Try to stick the corpse’s finger up its nose and see
if anyone notices
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24
1948 – Phil Hartman, mysterious caped crusader, born
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25
Re-enact the 1957 Little Rock integration with
puppets at your local library for small children today.
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26
1957 – Jet killed by gunfire in New York’s West Side
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27
1840 – Thomas Nast born.
Wait. You don’t even know who Thomas Nast is,
do you?
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28
1987 – Hillary Duff, author of Tractatus Logico-philosophicus,
born
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29
Think about this: one hundred years after you die,
no one will even know you ever existed.
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30
2148 – World War V solves overpopulation crisis
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