WASHINGTON – In a seismic shift of power, Greasers will gain control of the Senate for the first time since 1993. The Senate Greasers will represent the majority party with 51 seats. The Socs (Socials) will have 47 seats; the Independent Party will have 1 member, and 1 seat is still undecided (in Louisiana).

Majority Leader Darrell Curtis (G-OK) was ecstatic at the electoral sweep. “This is the dawning of a new age in America. The people have spoken, and they have said that they’re fed up with the leadership of a party comprised of privileged upper-class Washington fatcats that give tax cuts to the rich and let the working-class families foot the bill. I hope that our winning streak can stay gold.”

“You know what greasers are? White trash with long, greasy hair,” added fellow Soc Bob Sheldon (S-ML).

The new order has created tension in the Senate. Socs refuse to sit on the same side of the Senate Building as the Greasers. Pens used for signing legislation into law have been used as weapons. Several Greaser Representatives have been reportedly jumped by Socs outside of Capitol Hill. An argument over the passage of a bill erupted into violence, resulting in the deaths of three Soc legislators.

“They weren’t looking for a fight. They were looking to belong,” says Ron Schmidt, a professor of political science at Cal State Long Beach. “Greasers will still be Greasers and Socs will still be Socs. Sometimes I think it’s the ones in the middle that are really the lucky stiffs.”